College letters come at juniors fast and dumb


Patrick Evans

Not a bad haul for a day

Do you remember back when you were a sophomore? Or heck, fall of junior year? I do. Herded into unfamiliar classrooms across the school to join our Beaver Lodge in taking the Pre-ACT. Yes, six hours of standardized testing, just to prepare for taking another standardized test next year.

Or bravely (foolishly) volunteering to take the PSAT on your own time? Remember how whoever was administering those tests was explicit in how you were supposed to fill out the forms in a very specific fashion? Except for one part: whether or not the College Board can see your scores and have your email. “Eh, you pick either.” I gave them my email and let them see my info. It was a terrible mistake.

Fast forward to now, and I’m averaging fifteen emails and five print letters from colleges across the nation. Now, you’d think they would be telling me what makes their college great and possible reasons to go there. Well, that’s not the case. Instead, I’m getting articles asking me to take an online quiz to find out if my personality is compatible with their college. They have brilliant names too like “Creative, Clever, or Charismatic: Which are you?” and “This! Not That: 5 Do’s and Don’ts when choosing your major!”

Why are you sending me the higher education equivalent of Buzzfeed quizzes? I think by age 17, I have a pretty good handle on things I like and don’t like, and I don’t need places like Case Western University telling me what kind of person I am. It makes it seem like these colleges have nothing to offer and it wastes my time.

Thankfully, a couple of schools have the know-how that taking stupid quizzes is not what high schoolers want. They actually offer to send information about their school and make it actually seem like they care about having you. Unfortunately, that seems to be the exception and not the rule. Oh well, at least I’ll finally find out if I’m clever, creative, or charismatic, being all of the above is too impossible.