Wyatt Sweeden

Thumb wrestling could be Beaverton’s newest sport.

Football, basketball, table tennis, bowling, cheerleading, and wrestling are all great sports that can be found at our very own BHS. But one very special sport has been omitted from the roster which makes us ask, “Will thumb wrestling be added as a sport next year?”

Thumb wrestling is a team sport that requires a team of seven wrestlers. Each wrestler will be randomly assigned to compete against another wrestler on the opposing team. Whoever can pin the other person’s thumb for 10 seconds wins a point for their team and the match goes on. Whichever team has the most points by the end of all seven matches wins.

Now that we know the official rules of the game, it’s time to answer the question we all have been thinking about, “Will thumb wrestling be added as a sport next year?” I believe that many people around the school would love to support their friends or even participate in the sport itself, but to prove this I asked students and teachers their opinion.

One student, when asked if he’s interested in thumb wrestling as a sport, said “I would love to watch my peers duke it out in an all-out thumb wrestling tournament. My only concern is the risk of carpal tunnel. Carpal tunnel is no joke.”

Another student said “I am extremely interested in participating in such a sport. I have been training my thumbs daily for this very scenario and will be extraordinarily disappointed if thumb wrestling is not a sport. This is my true calling.”

We decided to ask a teacher for her opinions on adding the new sport. Mrs. Hamann expressed pessimism about the suggestion and expressed concern about the possibility of a participant’s thumb falling off. As a health teacher, Mrs. Hamann’s comments sparked concern for the safety of participants. 

We decided to research the possibility of disaster arising and asked a professional (ChatGPT) about it. It said: “The odds of a thumb actually falling off during a thumb wrestling match are astronomically low—virtually impossible under normal circumstances. The human thumb is attached by strong tendons, ligaments, and bones, so it would take an extreme and unnatural amount of force (or a pre-existing severe medical condition) for it to detach.” This was a relief to all the people hoping for thumb wrestling as a sport, knowing now there is no true risk.

In conclusion, I believe that a thumb wrestling team is the future of athletic success at BHS. Statistics show that 69.42% of students and staff want the sport, and the rewards outweigh the risks. We have an opportunity to make history by being the first school ever to have thumb wrestling as an official sport. Please, bring thumb wrestling to BHS! Talk to or email your school principal about thumb wrestling today.

APRIL FOOLS!!!